10 years

So I'm getting really close to a point in my life that I have been anticipating, but dreading too, for a very long time. I have been going to college for a long time. Most people know this about me...although when I came back to Logan this year, a lot of people asked me if I had come back to do grad school. A lot of people just assumed I had graduated or something. :-)

Anyway, I am graduating. On May 2, 2008. Just one month shy of 10 years since I graduated from high school. It's been a long journey, but one I am glad I have been on and I wouldn't change one minute of it. Ok, maybe one or two minutes. This adventure started at the end of August, 1998 when I moved to Ephraim, UT to start my freshman year at Snow College. I was rooming with my best friend, Anna, and we were ready to take over the world. I think I started at Snow without a definite plan...except maybe I planned to marry Jeff by the time I was done there. It wasn't long before that plain went down the drain, so I was forced to look at my life and actually set some goals that were all about me and no one else. It was a very liberating time in my life and I'm lucky to have supportive family and friends that helped me pick up the pieces of my broken heart and get on with living my life.

Somehow I managed to stretch my associates degree out over 3 years, but I had some really good times in Ephraim. I had crazy roommates and wonderful roommates. I had a second family at the Townhouse and then my real family (Matt and Bekah) my last year. I'm sorry I was such a bad roommate Bekah and I'm sorry I never did my dishes. I guess I was stuck in big-sister-you-can't-boss-me-around mode or something and I'm sad we didn't get to be better friends then. Thanks for giving me a second chance and being my friend now. :-)

That last year I got my heart broken by a boy names James. That was another hard time in my life and the start of what would end up to be a 4 year sabbatical from relationships. I was able to focus on school and my leadership activities and finally graduated in May 2001. I left 10 days later to the state for lovers, Virginia. I quickly fell in love with my new home, even if it took me a few months to adjust to my new family, the Molesky-Millers. My year in VA working as a nanny was one of the greatest years of my life (so far). I learned a lot about myself, made some amazing friends, traveled all over the east coast, fell in love with nyc, and somewhere in there I decided to go to Utah State. I had a great plan to graduate in 2 years and then start "the rest of my life." That was in Fall of 2002. :-)

Utah State turned out to be a place that makes dreams come true. I think I finally started living my life sometime at USU and finally started to make plans that had meaning for me. I initially lived with both Matt and Rachel in a sweet apartment on the west side. Matt decided to transfer to the U after the first semester to be closer to Debi (and they got married the next summer, so I guess it worked out). Rachel stuck it out with me the rest of the year though, even though I don't think she loved it. She was a good roommate though because she would always clean and hang out with me. She was writing songs all the time and would follow me around the apartment singing them and she was always good about playing my favorites over and over (you can check out her myspace page with a few of her new songs here). We used to have sister date-night almost every Friday when we would go to the Bluebird. Rachel hated spending money on eating out, but we had some good times hanging out.

I accomplished a goal I had had since 7th grade to get involved with student government when I was elected to be the Arts and Lectures VP in 2003. I joined Kappa Delta sorority, which has turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. I have developed as a leader, learned about service, and built relationships with some amazing women who truly strive for that which is honorable, beautiful, and highest. I reconnected with my good friend, Steve, when he transferred to USU. He joined Delta Sigma Phi, where I have been privileged to be associated with some really great guys. It's like having 20+ more brothers who are always looking out for me! I met John, who has turned out to be my best friend. We've had some bumps along the way, but he has been a huge presence in my life, has taught me about patience and compassion, has loved me and supported me, and always encourages me to be true to myself.

Somewhere along the way, I lost my motivation to do well in school. I wasn't really sure how to get it back, but I ended up deciding to take a break from school to figure it all out. I was out of money and out of resources to continue, even though I was pretty close to graduating. I took a nanny job in Tustin, CA where I thought I would stay until I was ready to go back to school. Well, after 6 weeks with the craziest family I've ever met, I came back to good old Logan to work at USU. When I couldn't find a permanent, full time position in Logan, I took another nanny job. This one was just in Salt Lake, but with a wonderful family with the sweetest baby, Henri. I spend about 18 months as his nanny and loved, loved, loved my job. I was so sad to leave, but I knew I had to come back to Logan and finish my degree. I had found my motivation and really had a "now or never" attitude.

So now I am here, in Logan, again. These last few months have been mostly good, but I'm feeling the pressure as graduation gets nearer. I really like my job and am lucky to work in a great office with great people. Some days it is hard to balance work and school and everything else, but I'm getting more excited all the time to move on.

Which I guess leads to the purpose of this long post. I am feeling really reflective tonight. I have a job interview tomorrow and I am both nervous and excited. It is a bit early to be getting serious about anything, but at the same time it could be a really great opportunity. It's just a phone interview...but sometimes that can be harder because you can't see the person to read their body language.

Basically, I have been asked countless times over the last 10 or so years "what are you going to do with your life?" or "what do you want to be when you grow up?" or "what are you going to do with that degree?" and I've always been able to say "oh I don't know." The reality of life is that I will soon have to make that decision. Finally. It's good, but scary, and exciting all at the same time. The possibilities are truly endless and I know I will have a lot of great opportunities. Life is good. So wish me luck on my interview.

And here's to 10 great years! :-)