restless ramblings

So I'm feeling kind of restless lately. Really it's just been this week. I think overall I am happy with my life and the way things are going. I keep saying that I want to have stability, stay in the same job for awhile, stop moving every 4-6 months, and really just stay in one place. Well now that I am feeling settled in to my job, mostly unpacked and organized at my apartment, paying all my bills...well, I just start to feel like my life is boring. I guess because it's just regular. It's not all bad, but I like to anticipate something...so my solution is to plan a trip. I have some ideas: Lake Powell, Washington, D.C./NYC, Amsterdam, Moab, Southern California/any beach. Who's in?

The other thing is, I think I may be job searching. I wasn't planning on it, but I'm going to apply for a job that I found out about and just see what happens. I'm not going to talk about what it is just yet, but it is very much what I want to do with my degree and it's something I'm really excited about.

It's not that I don't like my job now...but I don't love it. It is just a job to me. It's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. In comparison, it isn't nearly as fulfilling as my last nanny job with Henri was. Henri was my little buddy and I loved watching him grow and helping him learn and I got excited about all his development. We had so much fun together and I truly loved my job...it was hard to think of it as "work" actually and sometimes I felt bad for getting paid. Seriously. And while I do care a lot about the kids I watch now, life is so much more hectic and the schedule is crazy and I don't have the same bond with the family that I felt I had with Henri's family. Then I worked in the USU Admissions office. It was sooo different that my nanny job, but I loved it so much. Everybody in the office was so great, it felt like one big family. My boss and supervisor were so awesome, friendly, gave me great feedback, and valued me as a part of the team. And then there was Lake Powell. Need I say more? So I guess my job now is kind of a let down compared to the last few jobs I have had.

Anyway, the point of this post is not to complain. What I'm really trying to do is focus on all the great things I have and how grateful I really am. In this economy, I should really just feel lucky to even have a job. I make decent money, my job is fairly drama-free, I can go to work in my pajamas, I have a cute little apartment, I can provide for myself, I have food and warm clothes and a car and an amazing family, cool friends, and a loving boyfriend. I have two furballs that seem to unconditionly love me. Life is actually pretty good. I just want to be more fulfilled in my daily work (is that selfish?) and I want to pursue a career that utilizes my degree and work exerpience and interests. I want to have my cake and eat it too.

I guess I just wanted to put some of my thoughts down so I can stop worrying about these things. There was one year in college where I had to write in a journal every night just so I could sleep at night...otherwise I would stay awake worrying about anything and everything. So I guess I keep this blog journal now, so it can serve the same purpose.

Now I can go to sleep.