A love story

I agree with my sister, Valentine's Day is over rated. I've never really gotten caught up in it, but this year I did have a great Valentine's Day. John flew back from Amsterdam on Friday night, so it was great to have him home safe. We just went to dinner and to a party at a friends house yesterday, but it was great to get to spend the weekend together.

Anyway, in honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I would share our love story because people ask me all the time because we haven't had the most conventional relationship. This is really long and probably boring for most, but it's our history and I want it recorded somewhere...so really this post is more for me than anyone else, but feel free to read on if you would like!

(for photos of the last 5+ years that this story covers, please refer to the slide show here)

John and I met at the beginning of the school year Fall semester 2003 at USU. I was living in the Kappa Delta house and he was living in the Delta Sigma Phi house, which they had for the first time that semester. My good friend Steve was pledging DSP that semester, so I started hanging out at the house with him. Also, my friend and sorority sister, Jami, was friends with a lot of Delta Sigs, and I think she is the one that officially introduced us. I saw John's room and he had yellow walls and a yellow ceiling and he also had a big blue shoe in his room (which I later found out was an old prop from an Old Navy store). I was amused by his room and thought he was pretty cute when I first me him. I didn't think much of it, but we started talking more and I would make a point to stop by his room when I would visit the guys at his house. We started hanging out and I definitely had a big crush on him.

This was the year I was the Arts and Lectures VP for ASUSU. I had a visit by a guy named Gary who has done filming with Warren Miller on his ski movies. He was in town to present the latest installment in the film series. Turns out he also does a lecture/presentation about his filming and skiing experiences, so he gave me some free tickets to the film (I think so I would consider him for our series). I thought this would be a perfect date opportunity with John because I knew he was a snowboarder. So we had our first date in late October 2003. We had a great time, he held my hand, and I was really excited.

Well the sad part of the story is that John was also hanging out with another girl at this time. I knew her and I guess was hoping that he was having more fun on our dates than with her. Well, I was wrong...sort of. He had met her before me and she really like him and was ready to start "exclusively" dating, so suddenly John had a girlfriend and I was pretty sad about it. I decided that I liked him enough to try to stay friends, plus we had so many mutual friends, so I got over it and we stayed friends.

Fast forward to the next summer, and his relationship with that other girl ended. It was hard for me to see how unhappy he had become in his relationship and to support him as a friend because I did still have feelings for him. He admitted to me that he felt the same, but also needed some time to get over things and be single for awhile and I supported that idea. I was living in Salt Lake that summer and didn't think it was good timing either.

Well I moved back to Logan and school started again and it wasn't long before John and I were hanging out all the time again. I really felt like it was time for us to finally make it official, so we did. On September 25th, 2004 we had a good talk and decided we only wanted to date each other.

It was a really busy semester for both of us; I was still busy with ASUSU and was a chair for the HOWL, I was on Greek Council and in charge of sorority recruitment and was on Council for Kappa Delta. School was crazy for both of us too, but we had a pretty good balance and still made time for each other. Looking back on it now, I can't believe anyone gets married in college because I can't imagine how I would have fit that into my life. That year was filled with lots of homework, endless sorority and fraternity activities and formals, or first real fight, another summer apart, me moving to CA for a nanny job (then moving back 6 weeks later when they turned out to be crazy) and then me moving back to Logan. I took a semester off from USU and was working full time and John started in the Professional Program for Computer Engineering and then was elected as President of his fraternity. Needless to say, we were super busy and it was getting harder and harder to put time into the relationship. I wasn't able to find a permanent job in Logan, so I took a nanny job in Salt Lake and moved yet again. We were both trying our best, but the stress of our individual lives and the fact that the relationship was going no where led to John and I breaking up in March of 2006 after about 18 months of being together. I was heartbroken, but we both knew it was for the best. We tried being friends for a few months, but that just led to more contention and hurt feelings, so we decided to take a big break from each other and not even be friends.

This was both a very hard and very good time in my life. As hard as it was to get over John, I loved my job, was closer than ever to my family, had great support from my friends, and started dating again. I dated some really great guys, some really weird guys, and one guy that was just plain creepy. I truly took some time to focus on myself and I didn't worry about John. I got to the point that I didn't think we would ever be friends again and I was ok that he was no longer in my life.

Well one day I was shopping for a wireless router and I wasn't sure what I was looking for. I flipped open my phone and started dialing John's number. It took me several seconds before I realized what I was doing. I hadn't talked to him and months, but once upon a time, I always called him if I had a computer question. I stood there in Walmart, feeling quite silly, wondering why I had ever been so mad at him or so hurt. I decided maybe we could still be friends, but I didn't know how he felt about it. So I wrote him a letter, told him how sorry I was about how things had ended and let him decide if he wanted to start talking again. I was happy to hear back from him that he was sorry too and he hoped we could still be friends too.

Turns out that John had gotten himself into another relationship by this time, which was actually a relief for me because then we really could just be friends. Things were great, we talked every once in awhile, I had someone to help me with my computer issues again, and all was right in the world. Well, that worked great until his relationship started to fail and again I had to see that he was unhappy, but I tried to support him as a friend the best that I knew how. Well, it wasn't long before they broke up and John was single again. We started hanging out more and soon it felt like we were dating again. About once a month, we would talk about how things were going and we both always agreed that we didn't want to get back together, we were having fun dating other people, and we just wanted to be friends. I think at some point we started to say we were "casually dating" because people started to ask if we had gotten back together. All along, I knew I could never get back together with him, but I loved our friendship.

In June of 2007 I moved back to Logan for a great job with the USU Admissions office. I was so sad to leave my job and life in Salt Lake, but I was finally ready to finish school and was on track to graduate! John was so amazing and supportive, but we continued to just be friends, although we did go on occasional dates and we hung out all the time. It was one of the most fun summers we've ever had! Life was good.

Fast forward to March 2008 and we had a big fight (details not important). I got my feelings hurt and I was so mad at him. Turns out he was mad at me too. We didn't talk for 2 days, which was a big deal for us. And it was his birthday. It was then that I realized I might be falling in love again, because I decided I wanted to work it out with him and I wasn't willing to give up our friendship over something so stupid. If I hadn't cared about him, that fight probably would have been the end of our friendship again. By this time, though, I had already taken a job at Lake Powell and was planning to move in May. I figured that would be the end of my relationship/friendship with John because we were both graduating and going our separate ways.

We finished up that semester and we both graduated! Yea for us! I was sad to leave Logan, but was excited for the next chapter of my life. John drove me down to Lake Powell and I had very mixed feelings about the situation with John. After a very emotional goodbye, we decided to just wait and see what happened. I knew in my heart that it was the end for us and said goodbye to my best friend.

Well just when I had given up on John, he surprised me by continuing to call me all the time. He wanted to know what I was doing, how much fun I was having, and right away he planned a visit to come back to Lake Powell. He came for a whole week in June and we had an amazing time. I knew at this point that I had fallen for John again. Somehow these feelings had snuck up on me. Well, it turns out John was falling in love too. We made the decision to continue to wait and see how things would play out. Living 7.5 hours apart was no time to start a relationship again!

What has happened is that we decided we want to be together. After everything that has happened, all the good and the bad, we have fallen in love again. *cheese* Against the odds, we have ended up together (sometimes after trying really hard to stay apart). We have a crazy history (believe it or not, this has been the short version). I finally admitted to him while we were in Hawaii that I was ready to "officially" get back together. So on December 9, 2008 in Kailua, Hawaii we made it official.

Our relationship is still not perfect (what relationship is?). I live in Salt Lake and he lives in Logan. We both have very busy work schedules. We only see each other on the weekends (and not even every weekend, but most). Things are going really well though and I am very happy. I think we have both grown up a lot in the last couple of years and we are in a better place to be committed to a relationship. So even though the odds might be against us, we have a solid foundation of friendship and we love each other. I can honestly say he is my best friend and we have so much fun together! No one makes me laugh like John does, he truly understands me, I can completely be myself when I am with him, we can talk about anything and we talk about everything, he is so supportive, he wants the best for me, he encourages me every day, I am constantly learning new things from him, and he balances out my strengths and weaknesses with our differences.

I can't tell you what the future will bring (because at one point I said we would never get back together-I guess I was wrong about that!). For those that are curious, no, we have no marriage plans. We both want to focus on some individual goals we have with careers, finances, travel, etc. but we plan to be there for each other to be as supportive as we can. We have stopped trying to predict what will happen and we don't want to force things to work out...so far our strategy of being happy and waiting see what happens has worked well for us. I can tell you that I am a better person because of my experiences and relationship with John. No matter what happens, I will always be grateful for all we have been through together (of course I hope it works out in the long run though!).

So on this weekend where we have been able to celebrate love and romance, I am celebrating my relationship with John. As unconventional as it has been, I am happy with the place we are now and can't wait to see what happens next! I love you John!